It’s been a while since I’ve been able to sit down and write a blog post. When I first started this blog, my hope was to share stories that remind us just how deeply we all need the Lord—stories from the people I meet, and stories from my own life. Being here has shown me that need more clearly than ever.
Let me start by giving you a glimpse into my weekly rhythm. Mondays are what we call ATL days, which stands for “Ask the Lord.” It’s a day of slowing down, resting with Jesus, worshipping as a community, and simply spending time together. From Tuesday through Friday, we have care point ministry from nine to four. Saturdays are usually adventure days, which in Eswatini often look like the occasional safari or a fun meal out, but mostly it’s time spent hanging with our squad at the base. Sundays are our Sabbath, a day we set aside for the Lord.
I want to pause here and explain what a care point actually is. A care point is a place for kids to come after school to be loved, taught about Jesus, and given a meal. For many of these children, that meal is their only one for the entire day. And even then, they must bring their own bowl in order to be served. Watching kids arrive so empty—quiet, tired, almost hollow—and then slowly come back to life at the sight of food is both beautiful and heartbreaking. Their smiles begin with the simple fact that they get to eat. It’s reminded me just how much we need Jesus to be our source, our bread of life, our manna when we feel like we have nothing left.
What makes it even harder is that so many people here don’t yet understand what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus. They’ve heard His name, but they haven’t encountered Him as hope, as comfort, as the One who fills the emptiness. That makes the need even more obvious.
Our specific care point also faces a lot of normalized violence. It’s devastating to watch kids hit and beat one another simply because they’ve never been taught another way to react. Many of them have never heard that they are loved, seen, valued, or worthy. Imagine growing up hungry, sharing a small bed or maybe not having one at all, and only hearing the word “love” when it comes with conditions. If fighting is the only example of strength or emotion that a child has ever known, then of course that becomes their first response.
One of the people who has impacted me most is a young man at our care point who has special needs. If you know me, you know that my heart has always been drawn to young adults and children with special needs. Here in Eswatini, though, people with special needs are often viewed as outcasts—labeled as possessed or unworthy—and many are hidden away from the community. This young man doesn’t have a family who cares for him, so the fact that he’s even at our care point feels like something the Lord orchestrated.
There was a day when he walked up to me while I was holding a child. He pulled out a knife, held it inches from my face, and laughed. I was shocked and didn’t even know how to respond. That night I asked the Lord, “What do you have for him? What do you want me to do?” And I heard so clearly: love him and be his friend. So I started using Google Translate to communicate, teaching him to use gentle hands, asking him questions in siSwati. When I asked his name, I could see the way it made him feel seen. He asked for my name in return, and slowly we’ve built this friendship that goes beyond language. He’s teaching me to love through the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit speaks in ways that words can’t. Without the Holy Spirit, we would just be people trying our best. With Him, we become people who carry power, compassion, and the ability to love like Jesus.
There’s also a pattern I’ve noticed with the children. Some of them will crawl into my lap and just start sobbing. I really believe the Holy Spirit in my team and me touches something deep inside them. I’ve been teaching them my favorite song: “I’ve got joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,” and when they’re sad we sing it together. Their faces soften, and something shifts. We’ve even started replacing “joy” with the different fruits of the Spirit so they can speak those truths over themselves. Even something that small is making a difference. I love these kids so much, and loving them makes me even hungrier for more of the Spirit, for more of Jesus.
This past weekend we traveled to St. Lucia to renew our visas, which turned into a little “visa vacation.” I didn’t realize how much I needed rest until we arrived. The beach town reminded me so much of home that it felt like God whispering, “I see you.” Swimming in the Indian Ocean felt surreal, like one of those moments you stop and ask yourself how this is your life.
One day at the beach, I ended up talking to a woman who was very drunk. She and her husband had already approached some of my teammates, but eventually she and I had a chance to talk. Our conversation lasted at least half an hour, maybe longer. She kept repeating, “You can’t come here to South Africa and say it’s because you love Jesus. That makes no sense.” Every time, I paused and simply answered, “I can. I love Him, and I would do anything for Jesus.”
A lot of people in this culture see God as someone who only exists to answer prayers. They don’t understand relationship. They don’t know the Holy Spirit. So everything rests on whether or not a prayer gets answered. Once I understood her perspective, her words made sense. She later told me she believes in some kind of higher power, but because God never answered her prayers growing up, she turned toward anger and disbelief.
Yet even in her intoxicated state, something softened. She said, “I like how passionately you believe in what you’re saying, but He has failed me.” Hearing that reminded me why we’re here. There are so many misunderstandings about Jesus—so many false ideas—but not a lot of true encounters with the Gospel itself. This woman isn’t just angry. She’s lost, searching for something she doesn’t recognize yet. And the One she’s searching for is Jesus—not just a prophet, but the Messiah, the One who loves her, the One who still pursues her.
This weekend reminded me how desperately we need God. He isn’t just one part of our lives; He is our life. Anything we think about more than Him, anything we elevate above Him, is something we need to lay at His feet. He refreshes us in our rest, in conversations about the Gospel, in the sound of the ocean, in worship on the beach. He is the one who revives us
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